A tale of two doctors
How big does a miracle have to be to qualify as a miracle? What does it take to be able to say that an event, big or small, was a miracle?
I think we have become so desensitized to what a miracle is, that we will only say something is a miracle if it is a truly great event, obvious to any who look at it from the outside. If this is you, then I would challenge you to see miracles differently.
I think miracles are more often small events whose timing is so perfect that we may marvel a little at what just happened but stop short of giving credit to God for what He has done because we do not realize that it was God at work in us and in our lives. Many would label these events as a coincidence, but I have come to the conclusion there are no coincidences. What others claim a coincidence, I believe is a work of God that we have just witnessed.
I Was Going Backwards
So, how big does a miracle have to be for us to see that it was God at work in the first place?
May I share a personal story to illustrate what I mean?
Almost 2 years ago, I began having severe symptoms that I did not understand. In hindsight, those symptoms were heart related and most likely atrial fibrillation events, but they triggered a journey with the medical community and multiple doctors.
As my medical path unfolded, it was confirmed that I had a heart condition which required open-heart surgery. That surgery happened almost 6 months after I went on my medical leave of absence from work. I will not bog us down with the details of my condition because they are not important for this illustration.
My surgeon told me after the surgery, which was very successful, that people with my illness typically see significant improvement within a few months and are usually back to mostly normal by six months after the surgery. For the first 8-10 weeks after surgery I did see improvement, but after that I felt I was going backwards.
No Longer Supported Me
Six months after surgery came and went and I was still struggling deeply with the worst of the symptoms I had before surgery. At the peak of my medical journey, I had 5 cardiologists, 1 surgeon, and 1 primary care physician involved in my treatment, but now I had only one cardiologist following me.
We all thought I was going to get better, so when I didn’t, the one cardiologist who was treating me said that he did not know what to do with me. I had been through many tests, and the final test revealed my obstruction was gone so what more could be done for me? My doctor believed I was struggling with a severely disabling disease, but he could find no cardiac source for my trouble.
On the last visit with my cardiologist, he said that without objective data, he would only be able to write me off for six months. This was troubling because I was not recovering as expected so I wondered what would happen if I did not get better by six months and my cardiologist no longer supported me.
I hesitantly asked for another MRI. My only MRI was more than a year ago and was before my open-heart surgery. I understood that I had already been through more testing than most people on the planet, but I hoped I could get another MRI thinking it might show something new to contrast with my first MRI and reveal what was troubling me.
A Great Weight
My doctor did not even reply to my request for an MRI and I was ok with that. He had supported me with so many other tests and requests for documentation for my employer and the disability insurance company that I felt bad asking for more.
During our appointment, I could tell he was getting uncomfortable managing the paperwork I needed for the insurance company that was handling my disability claim because of the lack of objective data. At this point, I also needed him to write a letter to Social Security for a disability claim the insurance company required me to file. I could feel him beginning to push back on my requests.
When I left my doctor’s office that day, I did not know it would be the last day he would be treating me. I went home with a great weight on my chest. For almost 2 years I had been struggling with a debilitating illness and had lost a year at work. If you have ever been disabled then you know the income you make on a medical leave of absence is barely enough to survive. Now the one doctor who was treating me was saying he could no longer support me. I was up for a reassessment from the insurance company this same month in addition to Social Security beginning the medical review for my claim. Without my doctor’s support, I stood to lose all my income.
I Was Convinced
Even though I know Jesus Christ and trust Him to guide me through life, on this day I was hurting emotionally. In my head and heart, I knew that Jesus Christ was in control and that we would be ok no matter what happened, but knowing that did not stop the pressure I felt at the uncertainty of my future. If this cardiologist was throwing up his hands at my condition, would any doctor follow me?
The last day I saw my cardiologist I left needing several documents and a letter from him for my disability claims. He was a good man and cardiologist and I trusted him to give me what I needed this time, even if he would not do it in the future. The bigger question was how to handle my health going forward?
My problem was clearly heart related, at least to me. The body is complex and there are a myriad of tests that can be done to find or rule out specific issues but it is often impossible to know the source of every ailment. Since I was living in my skin, I knew my trigger points as well as how I felt before and after my disease started, so I was convinced it was my heart.
My Request
It was a Wednesday morning when I had the interaction with my doctor. I spent the rest of that day praying and seeking Jesus Christ to understand what to do and which direction to go. It was a bad day and no matter how much I prayed, the weight I carried was very heavy.
By evening I decided to go back to the specialist who had seen me up until my surgery. I stopped going to them because they were in another state which meant it was expensive and inconvenient to see them. They were also out of my medical network so I paid a premium to see them. I wasn’t sure if they would give me an appointment but I sent an email and asked. In less than 24 hours my request for an appointment was granted and scheduled for the very next day, which was 2 days after seeing my local doc.
I agreed to see the doctor’s nurse practitioner to get the appointment. At least my foot was in the door. My appointment would be Friday at 3:15pm. I took the appointment because I needed it but the time was not great. Since it would be late in the afternoon, I did not think I would be able to drive there and back again, as I had hoped to do, because I just did not have the stamina for so much time driving, particularly so late in the day. That would mean the extra expense of a hotel along with the gas and food I would need for the duration of the trip.
My Anxiety
Friday morning, I woke up at 3:00am. I tried to go back to sleep. It was going to be a long day and I needed every minute of rest I could get. I tried to relax but could not go back to sleep. After an hour I was wide awake and what is worse, I began feeling anxious. This was not the plan. The last thing I wanted was to drive so far and sit in my truck or the waiting room for 5 hours waiting for my appointment to start. And starting the day tired meant it was going to be a difficult day from start to finish.
I sat up and wrestled with my anxiety. Sitting there, in the darkness on the edge of my bed, my apprehension gave way to a sense of urgency to get dressed and leave. My head reasoned that if I got to the doctor’s office early, maybe I could get in early. But in my heart, I clearly felt a need to make the 5-hour drive immediately.
I got up just after 4am and within 15 minutes I was dressed and driving to Seattle. After making a stop for gas and food, I arrived at the doctor’s office at 10:00am. I explained I was there early and wanted to check in and let them know I was available if they had an earlier opening to see me.
The Things I Did Not Ask For
I was taken back to see the nurse practitioner almost immediately. Their 10am appointment was a no-show and the timing of my arrival was perfect.
My visit with the nurse practitioner well exceeded my hopes and expectations. All morning, I had nurtured fears about what the NP would not do for me. All I wanted was someone to believe I had a problem with my heart and to keep track of me in the years ahead so I didn’t wake up with a heart attack or something worse one day. The nurse practitioner not only believed me, he said they would gladly take me as their patient and follow me. He also ordered two new tests and possibly a third, the MRI I had sheepishly asked my local cardiologist for.
I had not asked for or looked for anything other than a cardiologist to follow me in case my heart condition progressed so that we would not miss any new developments in my illness. I not only got that but I also got the things I did not ask for.
God Was Involved
I left the doctor’s office on Friday with hope. As heavy as my heart and mind had been on Wednesday, I felt light and free on Friday. Wednesday had been a dark day but Friday was totally and completely opposite of that day. Within 2 days, God took the weight off my shoulders and showed me a path forward.
This should be enough for anyone to see that God was involved in it. Why else would I have wakened so early with an urgency to make my trip hours before I had intended to go. Plus, it is clear that the door for my local cardiologist was being closed while this door was being opened for me. But there is one more event I need to share.
When I had seen my local cardiologist on Wednesday, I said goodbye to him and that I would see him on December 20th for my next appointment. On Thursday, I received a call from the cardiologist’s office telling me I had a referral to the director of the department for a second opinion. I did not know I would be getting an appointment for a second opinion but I was grateful for it.
A Work of God
Thursday, before I was contacted for the new appointment for Friday, I was reviewing my online medical chart for some information and I discovered that the appointment with my local cardiologist on December 20th had been removed. I called the doctor’s office immediately and was informed that since I had an appointment for a second opinion in late January, I would not need the December 20th appointment.
On Friday, after my appointment with the nurse practitioner was finished, he asked me to schedule a follow up appointment in December with his staff. I went to check out and sat down to schedule my follow up appointment and was told he had an opening on December 20th or December 23rd. I asked for an appointment time that would be around 10 or 11 in the morning and was promptly given a slot on December 20th.
In two days, the door with my local cardiologist was closed and another one opened with a different cardiologist on the same day and at the same time as the original appointment. Some would label the fact that my appointment day remaining the same between two cardiologists as a coincidence, but the timing and detail are so impeccable that it can only be a work of God. I probably should have stayed with the specialist in Seattle in the first place but life at the time indicated otherwise.
He Is With You
I am reminded of something the apostle John said at the close of his epistle.
“And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books that would be written.” John 21:25
We have been given many proofs that Jesus Christ does exist and that He is our Creator. Miracles, big and small, are significant proofs of the truth and reality of God. In fact, I would go so far as to say, that if we truly knew every little thing God does in our lives and wrote them down, then I suppose that even the universe itself could not contain the books that would be written.
There is more to this story than I have shared but I did not include it because it would have made the story longer but not fuller. They are the tiny details I see but do not need to be seen by others to validate Jesus Christ in my life. These are details each of us have. They are the details of a God who loves us and is moving in our lives daily to guide us through our winding road here on earth to heaven with Him.
Are you struggling with your faith in Jesus Christ? Instead of assuming an extraordinary event in your life is a coincidence, try thinking of it as a something from God to let you know He is actively involved in your life. You may find those things you formerly labeled as coincidences are really Jesus Christ letting you know He is with you.
"I saw a new heaven and a new earth,
for the first heaven and the first earth
had passed away."
Revelation 21:1
Copyright © Vale Removed 2022-2024